"I Cracked Down"

It is tough to craft a compelling and well-written press release and easy to write a really awful one. At CNN as an assignment editor and bureau chief, I threw hundreds of releases into the waste basket. (These were the days when they were still mostly sent by fax rather than email.)

This release put out by Boost Mobile on August 24 and distributed through Hispanic PR Wire is the worst one I have read in a very long time.

I counted seventeen clichés in the text.

The first sentence begins with "once again", which is that punchiest of phrases. The writer then talks about how Boost Mobile and the ad agency Berlin Cameron/Red Cell have "raised the bar" with a "cutting edge comedic concept." Said "comedic concept" showcases "chart-topping" artists Eve and Fat Joe who are oddly referred to as "two visible icons."

Happily both artists are "at the top of their respective games." So it is only fitting that they work with an "acclaimed director" who "applies some creative license" and goes "back in time" to portray Fat Joe "back in the day" when he was still a "hidden talent" as opposed to a "lyrical legend" (What is a lyrical legend? Is that some kind of Homeric ode?)

Fat Joe and Eve would be very different individuals if they hadn't been saved by the "chirp" of their Boost Mobile phones alerting them to a life-changing call at a "pivotal moment." Otherwise, Eve might have found herself "ultimately succumbing to a position as an assistant ballet instructor in eastern Ukraine." Similarly, there but by the grace of God and Boost Mobile, Fat Joe would be "a respected NYC pet psychiatrist." This must be the "tongue-in-cheek approach" mentioned in the release.

The campaign is designed to "take young people to a higher level" by highlighting "those once-in-a-lifetime moments when you need instant information so you don't miss that golden opportunity." Thank goodness, Boost Mobile is there to assist me when it comes to "staying ahead of the pack in terms of being 'where it's at'"

After all, I too wish to "succeed in the youth branding game" where it is important to be "fresh and authentic every time."

As my twelfth-grade Latin American history teacher, Armando Rodriguez, used to say in a thick Cuban accent "It was so funny I cracked down."